Lessons From a One-Year Reset
After a year of resting, resetting and reflecting, I've learned a lot of things that have caused me to redefine and redesign how I want to show up every day for myself and those around me.
These were some that stood out the most:
I never wanted an empire.
I hadn't realized it was getting there. I was focusing on creating so much value and building so many different avenues that they were growing to be more than I wanted or could handle. Being lost in the creation and movement of my business, I rarely took time to truly sit back and reflect on where I was going. I was building idea after idea and had created so much that I was no longer creating forward movement. My empire was growing out of control and I was, essentially, running in place.
So now, I'm focusing on small, powerful and intentional. I've reconfigured my parameters for growth, what I can handle comfortably, and what I need financially. I'm slowly reintroducing parts back into my business and am slow to accept coaching agreements or contracts that do not align with what I want.
Filling my calendar with back to back calls is adverse to my health.
I thought filling up my calendar was a good barometer for growth. I thought the busier I was, the better it was going. But, I was failing in the self-care aspect of my life, big time. Everyday was a battle to balance burnout, overwhelm and mental exhaustion. The business was growing into the opposite of what I initially wanted. As a person who needs an inordinate amount of quiet space to think, breathe, re-energize and create in order to continue moving forward, I realized I was operating in chaos and not giving myself the space and time I needed to feel truly restful.
So now, I'm limiting my availability, the number of meetings and 1:1 clients. I've readjusted how I show up and re-configured the ecosystem that was causing a lot of the burnout and exhaustion I was feeling.
I am most creative when there are no deadlines.
I work great under pressure. Most of my corporate career has been about performing under pressure and, while I am skilled at it, it's not ideal for me. I thought by giving myself a deadline for everything I could achieve things faster. And that's not a bad thing. What I needed was the freedom to self indulge in creative thoughts and projects without pressure to perform. I was suffering from a self-created performance expectation.
So, I'm working on removing the self-imposed deadlines. For whatever activity or project I'm working on, I consider the timelines carefully and ask:
Who am I doing this for?
Why is this task/project important?
How does this task/project affect my business?
What would happen if I extend the deadline 30 days, 3 months, 1 year or longer?
Otherwise, I create when I create and I share when I have something I want to share. So, no more deadlines unnecessarily.
I prefer small and informal.
I've spoken in front of small groups and thousands of people...while not often giving myself enough time to reset and recharge in between sessions. Over the last few years, I noticed I was getting quieter. My energy was different. I wasn't speaking up or offering support. My comfort level in speaking to crowds grew anxious. I didn't realize I was mentally exhausted from having to juggle so many things. I had decision fatigue.
Large groups give me an excuse to hide. Understanding that I'm most energized and at my best when I'm in smaller groups, is where I am placing my focus.
Zoom fatigue is real.
There's nothing wrong with Zoom, of course. It definitely has its benefits and advantages. In true reflection, having to be on camera and putting on a "good mask" let me know that I wasn't being myself. I take pride in always being myself no matter where I am...but this unusual mask I was wearing wasn't a good fit. I don't like wearing makeup let alone an invisible mask I can't see but can definitely feel.
I've now created a way I can still serve my clients powerfully while balancing what I need. My new program, Write to CEO, is the birth of that understanding.
Self-reflection is mandatory.
Allowing myself to unapologetically take time to reflect, reset and relax has been a breathe of fresh air. It has allowed me to see my patterns and a way for me to change them. Journaling has caused some of the biggest transformations in my journey.
Now, every day I make sure I make time for a few minutes of reflection in my morning and evening routines. I journal around a few topics that help me focus:
For personal journaling:
What am I grateful for?
What one thing do I want to have done today?
What was the highlight of today?
What feelings did I have and why?
What am I looking forward to this week?
For business journaling:
What are my 3 priorities for today?
What ideas and creative thoughts do I have?
What was the highlight of today?
What's an area I'd like to improve?
Did I accomplish my priorities today? If not, what prevented me from doing it?
I've found that I don't do well without a focus for the day. That focus may be doing absolutely nothing or binge watching Reacher on Amazon Prime Video (or whatever), but there usually needs to be some kind of focus.
Experimentation fuels motivation.
When I stop experimenting, I stop forward movement. It's the jet fuel to my plane. I can't fly and take off if I don't have anything to give me energy. Experimenting brings me energy and excitement unmatched only by my curiosity. That's how I've learned so much, how I've experienced so many things in my entrepreneurial journey and continue to grow. When I stop experimenting, I stop the transfer of the energy needed to keep me going.
Now, I make sure I have at least one project I'm working on that piques my curiosity and keeps me thinking.
Social Media sustained a certain level of inactivity.
In the last 3 years, my doom-scrolling activities on social media went from 0 to 100. I went from barely interacting with social media (outside of using it for business purposes) to scrolling through endless images, videos and entertainment. Even with parameters, timers and device routines in place, I'd easily bypass them as if they were never there.
I realized that my increased interaction on social media (even with a busy business) was a side-effect of procrastinating. I wanted to be somewhere else, do something other than what I was working on. It no longer provided that spark of creativity or imagination I enjoyed.
While this area is still a work in progress, I'm rediscovering my passions and interests which is allowing me to spend more time on the things I enjoy instead of on things I don't.
These are some of the lessons I've learned. I'm curious, if you've taken a deliberate or unintentional rest period, what did you learn?
P.S. Whenever you're ready...here are a few ways I can help YOU build your business with intention:
Join my simple, but powerful personalized coaching and mentorship program, Write to CEO, that occurs via email, text, audio and sometimes video.
Get a Business Breakthrough Experience designed to identify gaps in your business and create strategies for overcoming them.
In celebration of the relaunch and rebranding of my business to The Focused CEO, LLC, I've decided to gift 1,000 90-minute coaching conversations to those looking to rebuild, redesign and repurpose their business and life after going through life events. Experience a session here.
